Hey, I'm Lisa. The worst thing that happened to me turned out to the best thing that ever happened to me. For five years I silently suffered with physical flu-like symptoms and pain that was later diagnosed as an incurable autoimmune disease. I was told "there is no cure" but that I could manage the symptoms by cutting out flour, sugar, wheat, dairy, gluten, anything inflammatory. I did all that, and nothing changed.
But here's the thing: I didn't want to "manage" symptoms for the rest of my life. I didn't want to have to eat a restrictive diet. I wanted a cure. I wanted to be free of sickness and suffering.
In October 2018, I decided on an experiential approach using practices from A Course in Miracles combined with teachings from non-duality in the tradition of Advaita Vedanta. This led me to a complete knowing of the Self as happiness - our shared changeless Identity.
When you realize your true nature, sickness and suffering is over.
I’ve always known there was more to life than what is experienced with the physical senses.
I have always loved reading, especially spiritual books about the world not being real but simply a reflection/mirror of the thoughts & beliefs we hold about ourselves. My very first introduction to these idea was Wayne Dyer's book "You'll See It When You Believe It" when it first came out in 1989. I was 21 years old and that was the beginning of my investigation into the power of mind.
Shortly after this, in 1992, I heard about A Course in Miracles.
As a child and into my 30s, I worked hard, followed the rules and was a good girl with a party streak. I spent ten years in NYC (from 1992-2001) working in marketing in a publishing office. I had a beautiful spacious sunny apartment on a tree-lined street in Brooklyn, great friends, supportive loving family, money. I was traveling for work, taking paid vacations, eating in first-class restaurants ... living "a successful life."
I had it all, from a worldly perspective.
From my perspective, I lived in constant fear and overwhelm because my life felt like a house of cards - smoke and mirrors. I felt like a fraud, a fake, a small-town girl from New Hampshire in a big city. I sensed that all of it could shift and change and disappear at any moment.
I never really felt like I could just be myself.
So I worked hard at what I thought I should be and tried be perfect in all departments (work, relationship, financial) and did my best to hold it all together.
I love New York with all my heart. I had many good moments there I and amazing friends - but I always felt it could all disappear.
So I drank. Every night I drank (vodka-tonics, one after the other) because it was the only way I knew back then to relax from the constant state of exhaustion from holding my life together.
I just wanted to be happy - consistently - and something deep down in me knew that not only was this possible, but that this was our destiny.
So there I was in New York City, drinking vodka-tonics at home alone every night, wishing my life would change.
I wanted to stop drinking. I wanted to quit cigarettes.
I wanted to experience happiness, aliveness, peace and joy but no matter what I did, I always felt like "I'n not there yet".
I had money, a job, great health, an apartment, praise, promotions, friends ... why then did I constantly feel like something major was missing????
I knew – deep down – this experience of freedom and peace was available but it was never lasting. I felt afraid to just let go and relax. I knew consistent joy was possible because I’d read about it in countless spirituality books that others that had awakened and reached this “place” of enlightenment and Self realization and I wanted this above all else.
I wanted to have the awakening experience of Jesus, Buddha and Yogananda. I figured if it was possible for them, it must be possible for everyone.
I wanted to know God. I wanted to know my True Self.
I wanted this experience of oneness I’d read about.
But no matter how devoted I was, it never happened.
In 1992, I found A Course in Miracles and dedicated my life to it and things began to change.
Alcoholism fell away.
I started feeling happier, lighter, more connected.
But I was still in a lot of doubt and conflict.
I kept thinking "If only I could be more devoted, more committed, more focused, kinder, more generous, then awakening and happiness will happen.
I couldn't see it at the time but I see it clearly now: My whole life was attack thoughts against myself.
Around January 2013, I got sick with fever, vomiting, no energy, sweating ... which later turned into extreme dry mouth, dry eyes and vision blurriness which was diagnosed as an incurable autoimmune disease.
I tried every diet and every body-mind approach to heal and nothing worked.
Another failure and reason to attack myself with guilt thoughts.
In October 2018 in the middle of intense pain and extreme physical symptoms, my husband Bill Free asked me (while he was at a Rupert Spira retreat) if I could "welcome it" and "love it" (this condition) even if the symptoms and pain never went away.
I got very quiet. The answer was YES. I had just spent over 5 years of my life trying to heal, feeling weak and frail and afraid and powerless, and I didn't want to spend another minute living that way.
That YES was beginning of my awakening to my True Self - to the realization I am not a body. I am not the pain. I am not the physical symptoms. I am that which is aware of pain and symptoms. That which is aware of body conditions and sensations is not sick, not in pain, never suffers and never dies.
This is our True Self: eternal, changeless, whole.
I suddenly understood what A Course in Miracles says: that healing and enlightenment is not a change at all. It is a recognition of the truth of what we are – and all this requires is a shift in perception from body/mind-identification (the separate self) to Presence and Being.
I discovered a sense of aliveness, happiness, freedom and presence I’d never known before. There was suddenly no interest in the past or the future. I stopped trying to heal, fix or improve anything.
I started showing up in the world in a whole new way: in joy, in love, in gratitude, in celebration.
I stopped hiding and isolating. I stopped being guilty. I stopped attacking myself for being sick. I took 100% responsibility for what seemed to be happening to me and I saw that sickness was my decision - it had great benefits - and now I was done with all of that.
I made a new decision: TO LOVE and BE HAPPY in whatever remaining time I was here on earth.
I was done being a sick person.
I discovered that you can discard sickness and fear as easily as Jesus told the man at the pool of Bethesda "Get up and walk."
Jesus asked the man who had been laying there near the pool with disease for 38 years "Will though be made whole?"
And this is healing: a decision to be made whole.
YOU ARE ALREADY WHOLE. Healing is recognition of this fact.
You can walk right out limitations and sickness, whenever you are ready to leave that life behind.
Sickness is a decision to isolate & hide and be a body, separate, weak & frail.
Healing is a decision to be whole & happy as the love you are, healed and perfect.
The choice is yours. You decide.
I began to notice the pain disappearing. I had more confidence, I felt connected, alive and happy and I didn’t care about results. I wasn't trying to do anything.
I was no longer resisting, fighting or attacking myself. I was welcoming all and staying in love, as Love's Presence.
This was the beginning The Healing Cure.
Then I started to question: Can others do this? Is this experience possible for anyone and everyone? I was wondered if it could be taught.
And I put all that I learned and experimented with in my life in The Healing Cure Online program.
I found out that this approach DOES work for everyone who is willing to make a commitment to doing the work and who willing to changing the way they look at things.
If this is you, let's go.